Lads’ Weekends Are Becoming Mental Health Trips

The classic lads' weekend isn't going anywhere. But it could be doing a lot more. For many men, a stag do or a trip away is the only time all year their closest mates are in the same place – away from work, phones and everyday life, with nothing to do but spend time together.

That's a rare thing. We think it deserves better than a blur of shots and a Sunday spent in bed. Imagine a stag that ends with the groom feeling better, not worse. A weekend that gets the mate who's had a rough year out of the house. A group of 30-somethings who haven't all been in the same room since university, sharing a hike, a sauna and a big dinner rather than shouting over a club.

That's what a wellness stag weekend is for. First, though, it's worth looking at why it matters.

The friendship gap men don't talk about

Men in the UK are, on the whole, not great at keeping hold of close friends. Friendships that ran on school, sport, university or a shared local slowly fade once careers, relationships, moving house and kids take over. Nobody falls out. Life just gets in the way, and the group chat goes quiet.

A weekend away won't fix that on its own. But one thing comes up again and again from charities working with men: isolation makes everything harder, and men are often more comfortable opening up side by side – walking, building something, doing an activity – than sat face to face.

That happens to describe a well-planned lads' weekend almost perfectly.

Why the stag do is ready for a change

Plenty of men already know the classic format doesn't work for everyone in the group.

Not everyone drinks

Fitness, faith, health, recovery, or simply not fancying it – more and more men are drinking less or not at all. On a weekend built entirely around the bar, those mates either sit it out or tag along feeling like a spare part.

The good bits were never the hangover

Ask anyone about the best stag they've been on and the stories are rarely about the bar crawl. It's the activity that went sideways, the long lunch, the late-night chat on the balcony. Our wellness weekends are built around those moments.

Timing matters

The traditional advice is to have the stag a month or more before the wedding, to leave time to recover. A weekend that leaves you rested rather than wrecked doesn't need that buffer.

"Nobody's saying don't have a drink. But a weekend with your mates should leave you feeling better than when you left – not needing a week to recover. That's what these trips are all about."

Gurmej Singh Pawar, Founder, Banter Experiences

Our wellness stag weekends

Our wellness weekends keep the bit everyone loves about a stag – the banter, the adventure, the time together – and drop the bit most people dread: the hangover.

Groups can mix and match, and can still add a big dinner and a few drinks on the Saturday. The point isn't to ban anything. It's to make sure the weekend works for everyone in the group.

Surf lessons on the Atlantic coast

Bubble football and team games

Sauna sessions

Paddleboarding along the Algarve

Budapest's thermal baths

Long lunches and private chef dinners

The stag you can have the day before the wedding

A traditional stag gets booked a month or more out, to leave time to recover. These weekends leave people rested rather than wrecked, so there's no need for the buffer. You can have yours the weekend before the big day – or even the day before.

He doesn't turn up to the wedding exhausted. He turns up glowing.

Where works best

Some of our favourite destinations already lend themselves to this style of weekend:

• Lisbon – surf lessons on the Atlantic coast, hiking in the hills around Sintra, and a food scene built for long group dinners.
• Albufeira – clifftop coastal walks, paddleboarding and kayaking along the Algarve coast, plus villas with private pools.
• Budapest – the city's famous thermal baths are a ready-made recovery session, with a river cruise and great food to round it off.

How to plan a lads' weekend that actually does some good

Whether you book with us or sort it yourselves, a few things make the difference between another blurry weekend and one people still talk about at the wedding.

1. 1Pick activities that keep you side by side. Walks, surf lessons, a cooking class, a round of golf. Conversations happen far more easily when you're doing something together than when you're sat across a table.
2. 2Don't make drinking the default. Have a drink if you want one, but plan the weekend so it works without it. If the only plan is "the pub", the non-drinkers are out before you've started.
3. 3Build in downtime. Back-to-back activities leave no room to talk. A long lunch or a lazy hour in the sauna often turns out to be the best bit.
4. 4Mix the group up. Stags often bring together school mates, uni mates, brothers and new in-laws. Small-team activities on day one mean people actually get to know each other.
5. 5Make one moment about the groom. A dinner where everyone says one thing about him lands better than any forfeit. It gets the group talking honestly – without anyone calling it a "conversation".
6. 6Keep it going afterwards. The best way to make it last is to set the next thing before you leave – a monthly walk, a five-a-side, a yearly trip. The weekend is the start, not the end.

Frequently asked questions